And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)… With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. Mark 15:34,37
You know? As I have been in a constant state of thanksgiving for 7 days now, I am overwhelmed at the Love our Father God expressed towards us in the sacrifice of His perfect Son.
My family went through a growth spurt- In The Lord- together a week ago today. Sara Grace had an accident that was not only out of our control, but to me, out of this world. A week later, I’m still a bit stunned. As I was worshipping just now on my drive home, I sang the lyrics, “old things have passed away, but Your love has stayed the same.” As I sang that song, I reflected again how The Lord has used that accident to put to death something in me.
I truthfully didn’t realize there was a passing away that needed to take place in this way… But I have entered into a new realm of trust in The Lord. As Sara Grace was in front of me with a busted eye and blood covering her whole face and neck- I knew that there was zero I could do to undo what happened and that we where in total reliance upon The Help of The Holy Spirit.
She had fallen into her bed, and I heard the hit from across the house. As soon as I heard her cry and Chris holler out in complete horror- I called upon the Holy Spirit to come help us and be with us, not even knowing what I would soon see. As I made my way to them- the presence of God was so tangible, I wasn’t even moved by what my eyes seen, and I really don’t recall feeling my feet run on the floor. (Perhaps The Lord scooped me up and carried me.) I prayed without ceasing for the Lord to help us, bind up Sara Grace’s eye, salvage her sight, and to get us to the hospital safe.
On the way, we continued to speak to the Father and intercede for every single detail we knew (and some we didn’t) was in front of us. The rest of the story can be summed up by this- The Lord God is near us and is a very present help. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1. Amen? He heard and over answered every single prayer we boldly approached His Holy Throne with. And is still doing so as we await the completion of His perfect healing over Sara Grace. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find Grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
Now as I was worshipping just a bit ago- I realized that He has helped me to crucify a part of my carnal nature that was trying to step back into controlling. Controlling my environment- controlling who or what comes near my family-controlling the outcome of things best I can… Well, at least I thought I was controlling. The Word says in Proverbs 16:9, “We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.“ Hello? Amen?
I knew this was the case when I felt so out of control seeing our precious daughter in this condition. I knew I was to give up my desire to control and even to understand why or how this could happen- and to humble myself and cry out to The One who is ALWAYS in control. Praise God He heard and answered us. Although I felt so helpless- I knew even more, that I had the privilege and the responsibility to pray. But still- ultimately, I was so aware that I had no control.
There was something so real to me in those moments. I abided in The Lord’s perfect peace and so I had His confidence- but there was a war raging inside of me. The Spirit was at war with my fleshy nature. For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds , casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled. 2 Corinthians 10:3-6.
Trusting God is one of the easier things for me to do in my walk with Jesus Christ, but let me tell you… There was a supernatural power at work in me that seemed to be a shield that thwarted every single fleeting thought and question that rose up against what I know to be the Truth and Word of God. This was the war I felt: My flesh was looking to rise up and exalt itself against the knowledge of God, and because I was yielded to The Holy Spirit, I was then able to walk in His benefits. Truth. Protection. Peace. Gentleness. Confidence. Trust. Hope. And more. By my Faith in Christ Jesus I held fast to the Truth I KNOW in my heart- He is for us and not against us, not seeking our harm… But fulfilling His perfect and pleasing will in our lives.
While the power of God comforted me and my family- He also defended my courage, rescued me from fear, took me under His wing for refuge, and He enabled me to walk in the equipping He had already graced me with as a woman in Christ, of prayer and faith. I prayed as if I where face to face with The Lord Jesus Christ and pleaded for Sara Grace. And all this while I felt like I was totally out of control. (Can we say? My Father God is The Prince of Peace! Amen!)
It was the hardest time in motherhood for me thus far, and there’s no wondering why. I KNOW my carnal nature and desire to control. And when I couldn’t- it felt like it was the hardest thing I had done up to that moment. Got the point?
Okay. This is the revelation I had during worship. Realizing that what was out of my control was threatening to cripple me in fear (but couldn’t because of The Power at work in me), still it was NOTHING compared to what The Lord God must have endured to stick to His plan of salvation while still being IN total control.
He saw His creation suffering, and knew He had to follow through with His plan of Salvation by the Blood of His perfect, precious and Holy Son. Then when His plan was in action, He saw His Son treated like everything other than Who He truly is. The Holy Son of God. He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Isaiah 53:3.
Not only was God The Father obedient to His own plan, though it meant the sacrifice of His Son- but God The Son, Jesus Christ was obedient also. He could have called the whole thing off. Stopped it at the Garden of Gethsemane when Jesus Christ cried out in prayer, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.” Mark 14:36. He could have stopped it way before that. Though He could have, He didn’t. And because of His Love for us. For you. For me. And for “whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord”, so that they “shall be saved.”
Long ago the LORD said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself. Jeremiah 31:3
I have no shame in confessing, if there was anything I could’ve done to reverse what happened to Sarah Grace I would have done it without thinking twice. I was not thinking about the fact that through her accident, many could be encouraged and edified by our testimony to the Lord’s goodness and faithfulness. Opposite of me, God held fast to His plan out of His great love for us. That through One- many would be saved! And, what power it took to stick to that plan when He did have control and power to change it.
I will never know fully the price that was paid for my Salvation. I will never know the control and power it took for my Father in Heaven to turn away from His Son as He breathed His last. But I do know, had it been within my control to change my daughter being hurt- it would have took far greater strength and power and even love NOT to spare her the pain. A Strength and Power that is Holy and driven by a fierce and perfect Love. God’s own Love. You see? For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16.
Though Sara Grace’s accident pales in comparison- it’s the only thing I have that could help me comprehend even a fraction of what Love the Father has lavished upon me in His plan of rescue. My sweet sister (beloved brother), the Lord God loved us with an everlasting love, and gave His only Son for us! He is Lord and King Over everything! Even in the accidents! He has a rescue plan in action everyday, and in every circumstance. I pray that you are encouraged knowing that when the storms come- when something comes way outta left field, be assured, it wasn’t out of His watchful and loving gaze. Even when He permits a storm in our life, we can be in His peace. I pray you will remember that in your next storm. Even more, I pray you would be courageous and let Him rescue you!
In His Love,